Love & Cynicism: How Do They Fit Together

Uncategorized — Антон Марчуков @ 18.02.08 21:55

Since I see misunderstanding that results in questions in the direction of “how can you love me and her the same time” and “how can you say that you will love forever if you had sweethearts before”. I will try to explain it here, cause it is not clear for me also.

First of all, it is really true that I can love several people the same time and I yet do not have an example of me stopping to love anyone that I felt in love with in the past. The quantity of such people is rather limited, but this is not a lack of experience, this is just the way it works in my case.

I can neither explain why I do love someone, nor can scale it by some objective value. However, let’s imagine the mythical well-known situation with the plane paying no attention to technical issues.

Imagine that you and all the people you love are in the same plane. It is known that the plane will definitely crash. There is exactly one parachute in the plane and it is also known that the only person that will get this chute will survive. It happened that only you can decide who will get the chute. Did you imagine this situation? Now tell me, do you know who you will give the chute to?

Представьте, что вы и все люди которых вы любите находятся в одном самолёте. Совершенно точно известно, что самолёт разобъётся. В самолёте есть только один парашют и так же известно, что выживет только тот, кто получит этот парашют. Так случилось, что только вы можете определить, кому этот парашют достанется. Представили эту ситуацию? А теперь скажите, вы знаете кому вы дадите этот парашют?

As for me, I always know it precisely. And I will never be swaying even for a second. Needless to say that the person who will receive the chute will not be me. And I will not be deciding that time, cause this ranking is already predefined. I do not build or rearrange it deliberately, the ranking just exists and I just feel it. I cannot even say which factors are taken into account, I simply do not know them myself.

This may sound terribly, but I do not see anything bad in having such a built-in ranking black box module. This prevents me from bouncing like a billiard ball, however, the same time this makes me unable to tear away from the person I love even when it makes pain.

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